Forgive him
by lunatic2.2
Summary: Magnus has broken up with Alec, but it s obvious that both are still madly in love. Their friends, who see how miserable Alec is, decide to talk to Magnus, trying to fix things on their own. A/N: This is my attempt at how Isabelle, Clary and Simon go to see Magnus, before Jace does in CoHF. I thought it would be interesting to write how their conversation goes.
1. Isabelle s intention

Isabelle didn´t waste any time. Without hesitation she pressed the buzzer, not letting it go until she heard the voice through the intercom. „YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS BEFORE I BLOW UP YOUR HEAD! WHAT´S THE MATTER?"

Izzy snorted, making sure she´d be heard at the other side of the intercom. „Cool it, it´s me. Now don´t be such a diva and open the door. You know, if you don´t, I will find my way in, and I can promise you you won´t like that!" The determination in her voice made perfectly clear that she meant everything she said. She could hear a defeated sigh before the door opened in front of her, letting her in. Izzy smiled, self-satisfied, and quickly walked up the stairs to Magnus´ loft. He was standing at the front door with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at her in annoyance.

Isabelle looked him up. He didn´t look good, she thought. His hair was longer than usual and hung loose, the dark sweat pants and the faded brown shirt he wore indicated that he hadn´t expected any visitors today, nor did he plan to go out. Also, she noticed his cat eyes were red-rimmed. Apparently he hadn´t gotten much sleep, lately. Izzy was more than pleased. If her brother was a heartbroken wreck after the break-up, Magnus didn´t deserve any better.

„What do you want?" If Magnus wanted to sound intimidating he failed miserably.

„Came to visit my friend." she said, moving past the warlock into the loft.

Inside, she inhaled sharply. The apartment looked like a bachelor pad, untidy, and empty pizza boxes piled up on the coffee table. The place seemed gloomy, just like Magnus himself.

„Nice furnishing." She remarked dryly. She turned around to see the warlock still standing at the doorway as if waiting for her to leave again. „You can stand there all day if you want, I won´t go." she declared. Magnus shot a glance to the ceiling, probably sending a prayer to heaven or evaluating if he should risk a fight with her. Luckily for him he decided against it, closed the door and grabbed a glass filled with an indefinable liquid from the kitchen. Izzy followed him and hopped onto the counter.

„My dearest Isabelle." Magnus said „As you are angry with me by the look of things – and I won´t blame you in that matter – I don´t assume you´re here for gossiping. So, what is your intention?" Isabelle shot him a faked smile. „My first intention, so to speak, was kicking your ass." she said matter-of-factly. Magnus didn´t look surprised. „But I´m way too mature for that. I know what happened. Alec told us everything. And I´m not angry with you. Do I think you´re a fool breaking up with my brother? Yes, definitely. But as far as it concerns me, you´re still my friend." At that Magnus´ face changed, honest surprise displayed in his eyes. Apparently he hadn´t expected Isabelle´s loyalty to him to continue. „If Alec told you everything, you should know my reasons. And you should see that nothing you can say will change anything in my decision."

Isabelle made a face. „You are a fool, indeed.", she said, jumping gracefully from her seat on the kitchen counter. „I didn´t come to beg you to take Alec back. That would be just pitiful." Magnus raised an eyebrow. „Oh? So why did you come, then?" He leaned on the counter and watched the shadowhunter walking into the living room. „I´m here to reason with you." she explained. „Alec might be an idiot, but he´s not a bad person. He´s the most caring and conscientious person I know, and it drives me crazy sometimes, but it´s true. You´re mad at him because of something he didn´t even do and with that you punish him and you punish yourself. Look at you! You look bad – no offense."

Magnus rubbed his nasal bone in exasparation.

„Did Alec send you?" he asked flatly. „Look, I don´t see where this is going. What Alec did was a breach of trust and once broken, trust can´t be rebuilt that easily. Take it from someone who knows: Sometimes the strongest bonds can´t withstand such pressure. The relationship between Alec and me just simply didn´t work out."

Isabelle´s eyes gleamed a furious black as she looked at him. „Don´t tell me you don´t miss him. You´re wearing his sweater, you´re pining for him." she snapped. She had recognized the shirt unmistakably as Alec´s from its dull colour. Maybe Alec had forgotten it here when he had picked up his stuff from Magnus´ apartment

Magnus turned away from her, but for a moment, she had seen the hurt in his eyes. It wasn´t long until he managed to hide it again, but she had seen it. It gave her enough affirmation to go on.

„Do you know what you did to him when you left him behind? Alec gave up so much for you, he took a plunge in at the deep end when he outed himself in front of the Clave. You have no idea how much courage it requested from him. He risked everything for you. And you´re throwing it away like it was a piece of shit, just because he did one mistake. A very stupid one, admittedly. But don´t you act like you´re the only victim in this whole affair. Because you´re not." Isabelle couldn´t see Magnus´ reaction to that, because he was still standing with his back to her. Still, she noticed that his body tensed slightly at her words. „Alec is strong." she continued. „He loves you, but he can do without you. I´d just wish he wouldn´t have to. Be without you, that is. I don´t want to go through the process of getting used to another man at my brother´s side. You know I don´t trust easily." she winked at him.

A moment of silence followed. It took a while until Magnus turned around to face her, so long, that Isabelle almost got impatient. „I appreciate what you´re trying to do for your brother." he said. Isabelle hanged her head. She didn´t like where this was going. He was going to turn her down. „But..." he went on. Of course. There was always a _but_.

„This is something between Alec and me, or rather it _was_. Because we´re done. You can tell him that."

Isabelle lifted her head, her chin set into a stubborn line. „Alec didn´t send me. I came here myself." It was true. Alec was longing for Magnus. He did a good job distracting himself with his duties, but he suffered under the break up. And Isabelle hated seeing her brother like this.

But it seemed like she couldn´t do any more for him, than what she had done right now. She wasn´t good at giving relationship advice when it came to true love. Isabelle was a great warrior and she didn´t flinch away from slaying a _Dahak demon__ – _but love was something she had no control over. She thought about Simon. She trusted him and that´s what terrified her so much. She was experienced at dating, she could tell you excactly what to do to seduce a man. But with Simon it was different. She had learned not to give her heart away easily, for men can´t be trusted in that matter. Her mother had taught her that. Yet, with Simon it seemed like everything was so simple. He was cute and brave, considerate and smart; he made her laugh. And he could keep up with her.

Isabelle sighed. How could she blame Magnus for being a coward, if she wasn´t able to sort things out with Simon herself?

„I don´t think you should come again." Magnus said, leading her to the front door. She let him. She didn´t say another word, not even a goodbye, as she stepped out.

* * *

><p>Magnus slammed the door shut, not wanting to see Isabelle leaving. He liked her a lot, and he knew deep in his heart, that she was right. Every word she had said was true and it gave Magnus an even emptier feeling inside like before she had appeared at his doorway. A part of him didn´t want her to go, wanted her to reason with him so long until he forgot his stupid reason why he had broken up with Alec. Another part just wanted to never see her again, or Alec, or any of their friends, so that he could ignore how good they had made him feel, how alive. He didn´t know which part was bigger.<p>

With a sigh he flung himself onto his couch, determined not to drown in self-pity. Chairman Meow was appearing from under the coffee table and stopped in front of the couch, looking up at Magnus through reproachful cat-eyes. Or he had just imagined that. Because, really, how could a cat look reproachful?

„Don´t you tell me too, that I made a mistake." Magnus said. „It was the only decent thing to do." The Chairman made a sound that sounded like a huff and disappeared behind the kitchen counter. Apparently his cat missed the shadowhunter as much as he did.

Magnus pressed a cushion into his face, trying to ban any thought of Alexander from his head.

He didn´t know how long he was lying there like this, without moving. Eventually, the vibration of his mobile phone cut him off of his train of thoughts. He groaned. How could he get over Alec, if he kept texting him every day? He took out his phone, anyway.

To his surprise, the text he had received wasn´t from Alexander. It was from his sister, Isabelle.

He narrowed his eyes as he read it, but he couldn´t help the small smile creeping up on his face.

_I don´t give up_ _yet_.  
><em>:* Izzy<em>


	2. Clary s intuition

Clary balanced the cardboard box on her arms while pressing the buzzer.  
>„UNLESS YOU´RE THE DELIVERY GUY, YOU CAN GO." she heard Magnus´ voice through the intercom. Clary raised her brows. „I have cupcakes, if that helps." she said. Apparently it did, because he let her in.<br>Isabelle had already told her about her visit, and in what condition Magnus´ and his apartment were in, so she wasn´t all that surprised. Although she had never seen him in an outfit as plain as the one he was wearing at the moment.

„Clarissa." he said. „I should have anticipated." Clary smiled weakly at him. As she was taking the last steps of the stairs she got out a red velvet cupcake and threw it to Magnus, who caught it.  
>„You look... tired." she said as a greeting. Magnus narrowed his eyes. „You are regrettably honest." And then he turned around disappearing into the loft. Clary followed him. She put the box onto the kitchen counter, before she sat down on the armchair opposite Magnus. The warlock had flung himself on the couch and ate the cupcake with relish.<p>

Clary cleared her throat. She had no idea what exactly she could say to him to make him forgive Alec. She felt sorry for Alec, she saw how much it hurt him to be separated from Magnus, and she could sympathize with him. She still remembered vividly how painful it had been for her when she had thought that Jace was her brother. Like her innards were ripped out of her body, just to be rearranged again in a very distorted way.  
>Everyone could see that what was between Magnus and Alec was special. She wanted them both to be happy and together they were happier than ever.<br>On the other hand, she could see Magnus´ reasons. He felt betrayed by Alec and betrayal strikes you hardest if committed by someone you love and trust most.

Yet, Clary felt like the arrangement with Magnus´ ex-girlfriend, which he had rejected in the end anyway, wasn´t the only reason for the break-up.

„Look, Magnus." she began. „I´m sorry for what happened. And I realize why you did what you did. But I can tell you how bad Alec feels for what _he_ did. It was wrong and he knows that and he regrets it every possible minute of the day. But it wasn´t the only problem you two had, was it? I think you take Alec´s secret meetings with Camille as an excuse to end things with him before you have to face your _real_ problems. And that´s not fair to Alec."  
>She didn´t want to think about how weird it was that she was giving a centuries old, wise and experienced warlock relationship advice. Magnus must have been thinking the same thing, because he said, „Don´t you find it a bit hypocritical to tell me how to handle my love life? How old are you, seventeen?"<br>„You know how old I am." Clary responded. „Stop acting like all that doesn´t matter to you. You still love him."

Magnus put his face in his hands. „I never denied that." he mumbled through his fingers and Clary frowned in confusion. „Then, _what_ is this all about?" she asked. „You love him, he loves you, he is sorry. Forgive him already! Why does it have to be so complicated?" The whole situation frustrated her. She had lived an ordinary life before she found out she was a nephilim. From then on she had burst into a life of adventures, drama and dangers. She wouldn´t want it to be any different, not anymore. She had decided to accept her new life after all. Still, sometimes she wished that at least one thing in her world would be completely fuss-free. Like her love life, or the love lives of her friends.

„Don´t you have more important things to do other than hooking me up with Alexander?" Clary knew he was trying to change the subject, so she did what she always did with Jace in that case: Answer a question with another question. „Don´t you have better things to do than watching a _Grey´s Anatomy _marathon?" she gestured towards the muted TV.  
>Magnus shrugged. „I have flexible working hours." he said and Clary rolled her eyes.<p>

„Okay, I get what this is about." she said. Magnus lifted one brow. He stared at her in his typical way that indicated that she was a child in his eyes, naive and not to be taken seriously. She hated it.  
><em>He knows you´re not to be underestimated, <em>she told herself. _He´s just trying to piss you off. _Clary decided not to let herself getting manipulated by him and stick to her plan instead.

„You found something in your life – well, someone – who actually means something to you, who makes you feel great and who loves you back for who you are. And you push him away because you are afraid of getting hurt. I might not be as experienced as you in such things, but I´ve seen Jace doing the same with _everyone_ he cares about, and I see Isabelle doing it with Simon when she´s feeling vulnerable. And I look at you, and I get the feeling that playing the farouche High Warlock is a protective mechanism of yours, built and solidified around your heart to prevent it from being broken." Clary wasn´t very good at doing speeches, but when she did it, there was always a grain of truth in it. „But you won´t find happiness that way, Magnus."

Magnus looked down on the rests of his cupcake in his hands and put it down on top of the take-out containers on the coffee table. „If you think so," he said. „then why do you believe that telling me this would get me to reconcile with Alexander?" Clary smiled at him. „It was just a try.", she said. „I hoped you´d see sense eventually."  
>„Well, I already do." Magnus said dryly. „But your plan didn´t work out." He reached for the remote control and turned the volume back on. Clary sighed. She hadn´t known that guy could be <em>so<em> stubborn. „You´re not a good host." she remarked. Magnus didn´t turn his gaze away from the TV as he replied. „I thought your plan why you came here failed and I would be rid of you now." Clary narrowed her eyes. „And not a good friend, too." she murmured.  
>Magnus sat up, turning off the TV with a snap of his fingers. Now he looked her right into the eyes. „What do you expect, Clary? When it comes to personal relationships – and I mean really any kind of relationship – it´s always complicated. What Alec did was not only a <em>little<em> mistake. He tried to take my immortality for God´s sake! And as for the other problems we might have had – all the more reasons to end things, don´t you think? Tell Isabelle she can stop interfering in my private affairs. It doesn´t work. She is the one who sent you, isn´t she?" Clary´s mouth quirked up in a small smile. For now she was satisfied with herself. She had finally managed to coax some emotions out of the warlock. „It _was_ Izzy´s plan. But she didn´t force me to talk to you. I´m doing this for Alec and for you." she said.  
>„That´s very nice of you, but there´s no need for that." his voice was flat. „Thank´s for the cupcakes anyway." Clary knew she had lost him again. She had hoped that he would confide in her some more, more than in Isabelle maybe, as he had watched her grow up. She had hoped he would care about her enough that he´d let her help him. But now he wouldn´t open up again, she could see it from the look on his face.<p>

Clary sighed. She stood up from her place on the armchair, looking down at Magnus. For once she was in a higher position than him, as he was still lying on his dark green couch.  
>„I can´t apologize in place of Alec. It´s not my business. But if you would just talk to him instead of isolating yourself in your gloomy apartment, you´d maybe find out about his real intentions. It´s not like he hadn´t tried to contact you in the first place." she said, starting one last attempt to get through to him. Magnus was eating the rest of his cupcake, showing no sign of paying attention to her. He had listened though, Clary thought. With almost absolute certainty.<p>

„Oh, and Magnus?" she said, before she stepped through the door. „Whatever happens between you and Alec, I hope we´re still friends.". She waited a while for a response. When none came, she walked out the door, mixed feelings rushing through her veins. She wanted to help so much, but Magnus was right. She had her own problems to deal with. Like her brother who tried to take over the world, and her boyfriend who couldn´t touch her without setting her body on fire – literally.

Just before she put her feet onto the first step of the staircase, she heard Magnus´ voice. For a moment she wasn´t quite sure if she had only imagined it. „See you, Clary!" he said.

Of course they would see each other again, they couldn´t prevent it if they wanted. She was the sister of the evil villain, and Magnus was a very powerful warlock. They were both stuck in this whole crazy situation. They would probably meet again at a Council meeting at the latest, where he would also see Alec again. Clary just hoped it wouldn´t be too awkward between them, then.  
>Still, Magnus´ words gave her a slight sense of security, like a promise that everything would be okay. Clary sighed. She just hoped it would.<p> 


	3. Simon s insistence

Simon took a deep breath before pressing the buzzer to Magnus´ apartment. He wasn´t sure why he had ended up in front of the warlock´s apartment building. Isabelle and Clary had told him about their conversations with Magnus and he had volunteered to be the next to go.(As much as you can volunteer with the big eyes of two beautiful girls looking expactantly at you.) He wanted to help, in all honesty, but he couldn´t see what _he_ of all people could do to end Alec´s lovesickness. Or Magnus´s, while he was at it.

Surprisingly, the warlock didn´t shout at him through the intercom. Instead, he just let the door open up for him. Simon shrugged. _That´s a good sign_, he thought. At least he hoped so.  
>The front door to Magnus´ apartment was opened just when Simon was coming to stand in front of it.<p>

After all Clary and Isabelle had told him about how _bad_ and _wretched_ Magnus´ looked, he hadn´t expected to see _that_:  
>The warlock was dressed in blue jeans and a light green t-shirt – casual, but neat. Not at all like the dull black grotty clothes the girls had described to him. His hair was combed too, even if not styled in his usual spikes, and he wore a little make-up.<br>If you looked closer, though, beyond the formal surface you could see the deep tiredness vexing the man.

Magnus´ narrowed his eyes. „What are you doing here Swarley?" his iced tone clearly indicated that he was not welcomed at all. Of course Simon had already expected something like that, so he wasn´t as taken aback as Magnus might have hoped him to be. „Come on, I thought you were a wise, immortal warlock and all. You should know why I´m here."

Magnus sighed in exaggerated exasperation. „I don´t have time for this now. I´m expecting a client."

Simon grinned. „A vampire with a mental disorder who thinks he sparkles in the daylight?" he lifted his thumb and pointed at himself. „Here he is!"

Magnus made a face. „I should have known." he grumbled, but he moved to the side to let Simon in. The latter walked straight to the leather couch and sat down, looking quite self-satisfied. He waited with patience for Magnus to sit down opposite him, then he looked down on himself and feigned a surprised expression. „Huh! I think I just went through a spontaneous recovery. I realize now that only vampires in bad teenage movies Clary made me watch can sparkle without using body glitter. How absolutely convenient.", he said with playful earnestness. „That way, we can talk about you and Alec straightforwardly."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. „I´ll charge you the full price, though." he said dryly. But Simon just waved the threat away. „Don´t worry, I have something so much better to pay you other than money." Magnus´ eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. „Oh? And what in hell would that be?" he asked suspiciously.

„An exclusive insight into the opinion of an objective friend about your marital row with Alec." Magnus opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Simon thought, this must have been the first time he had made the warlock speechless. He was _very_ content.

„I´m going to generously ignore the fact that you called our break-up a _marital row_, and simply ask you: Is this your strategy how to convince me to get back together with Alexander? Pitching your useless view of things and share it with me? Because that won´t work."

„Initially I wanted to drown you in wise Star Wars quotations so long until you get so annoyed that you eventually give in and talk to Alec." he shrugged. „But I guess that does it too."

Magnus sighed. „Did you bring cupcakes at least? Clary brought cupcakes."

Simon was baffled. He didn´t know he needed to bring a bribe to appease Magnus. Clary should have told him.  
>„Uhm... no?" he said. Magnus groaned disappointedly. „Hey, you are a warlock, you can conjure up a bath tub full of <em>camel milk<em> if you feel like it." he pointed out. Magnus pouted. It was almost funny how childish he seemed with such an expression on his face. If Simon hadn´t known why he was so miserable he´d laughed. „I don´t want camel milk." Magnus said. „I want cupcakes. I really like Clary so much more than you.".

„I guessed as much." Simon said matter-of-factly. „Is cupcake some kind of strange metaphore for a certain black haired shadowhunter?" he asked smiling significantly. „It would explain your desperate need for one. I don´t question your attraction to him, he can be pretty nice if you´re not the one who wants to date his sister. And he´s good-looking too, I guess, and not as bad-tempered as Jace."

Magnus glowered at him. „No, I just have a craving for cupcakes. And cupcake means _cupcake_!"

Simon nodded. „If you say so." If he didn´t know better, he´d say Magnus was on his period. He was as moody as his sister Rebecca once in a month. „Can I ask you something non-Alec-related?" he asked.

Magnus waved his hand at him as if to tell him to go on.

„Are you drunk?"

The warlock frowned.  
>„No.", he said. „I´m just terribly grouchy with an empty stomach."<p>

Simon shot him a knowing glance. „You broke up with Alec. You still love him. You don´t eat and you´re in a real bad mood. I can see a connection between those facts." he said. „And guess who the connection is."

Magnus green-gold eyes stared at him darkly. „I hate you." he said.

„I know." Simon grinned.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. „Then why are you doing this?" he seemed genuinely curious.  
>Simon paused. He had asked himself the same thing already a thousand times. He still hadn´t come to a coherent solution. Probably it was just a characteristic trait of his to drop everything instantly when a friend needed help. And he would always be the kind best friend standing on the sidelines, taking care of other people´s relationships instead of sorting out his own love life.<p>

He quickly washed that thought away. He had gotten over the friendzone-thing with Clary long ago, and he felt like he was making headway with Izzy these days. Although he still didn´t quite know if they were actually dating or not. But that wasn´t important at the moment.

Simon cleared his throat. „Because I know you don´t mean it." he said. „And even if you or Alec are rather... let´s say _reserved_ towards me, and though I might be a little terrified by both of you, we are all in the same gang. All for one and one for all, right?"

Magnus looked at him as if he had just offered him to become an owner of a llama farm. _Buy one get one free!  
>Though<em>, Simon thought, _he might have actually done that before – owning a llama farm. _

„You´re watching too much TV!" Magnus uttered unimpressed.

Simon sighed. „You were so much kinder with Alec as your boyfriend." he said honestly.

Magnus rolled his eyes. „Simon, I-"

„Aha!" Simon shouted, springing to his feet and grinning like a maniac. „You _do_ remember my name, I knew it!"

Magnus´ shocked face was priceless. „That was just a good guess. There aren´t too many names with an S." he claimed. Simon raised his brow. „I don´t think _Swarley_ is even a name. You, my friend, watch too much _How I met your Mother_." Magnus shrugged nonchalantly.

„But, we´re getting off the point.", Simon went on, before the warlock could even open his mouth. „Seriously – don´t you think you overreacted a little bit?"

Magnus sat up at that, looking at Simon through intransigent cat-eyes. Simon inhaled sharply. He knew he was walking on thin ice now.

„I _overreacted_?" he asked incredulously.

Simon nodded cautiously. „I don´t know Alec that long, but what I can say with absolute certainty is, that he is neither a lier nor a ruthless schemer that takes away the immortality of his boyfriend behind his back. Alright, he might have found the idea tempting for a second, but do you really think he would have went through with it?"

Magnus had put on his mask of indifference again and Simon remembered what Clary had told him.

_He closes up if he doesn´t want to talk about his true feelings and changes the subject. That way he is very similar to Jace.__Try to get under that facade and confront him directly about the truth he wants to ignore so resolutely. _

Simon hadn´t understood it when she had given him that piece of advice, but right now, seeing how determined Magnus played his role of the unconcerned High Warlock he realized she was right.

Simon himself was beginning to fall for Alec´s sister, Isabelle, who was just as inscrutable in emotional terms.  
>Isabelle, the fiery troublemaker with a heart of gold – cold and hardened from the outside, but if you were persistent enough to win her over, what you received was worth all the trouble. He knew that and it made him feel invincible that he actually belonged to the few people Isabelle trusted whole-heartedly. There was no denying the fact that he would do anything for her, comfort her in her sorrow, make her laugh if she needed it, fight for her and die for her, just as he would do it for Clary as well.<p>

But Clary was his best friend. He grew up with her.  
>And Isabelle was just a young woman he knew for a few months. And yet she had already digged her way into his heart.<br>What was so strange was that he wasn´t terrified at all. Maybe Clary was right in that matter too, and he had really become braver ever since he had found out about the Shadowhunter world.  
>Maybe even brave enough to be a worthy boyfriend for Isabelle Lightwood.<p>

Simon sighed. _Magnus may be stubborn_, he thought, _but I am too. Plus I know how t_o_ deal with stubborn people. _He was the best friend of Clary Fray after all.

„I didn´t give him the chance to go through with it, so it´s needless to talk about that." Magnus said wryly, interrupting his train of thoughts.

„I´m just saying, that it´s understandable that you´re mad at him. But usually when something like that happens, you fight a bit, and you make up. At least that´s how I picture it. If you ask me, you should forgive him." Simon said.

„Well, what Alec did was not only a slight mistake. It´s not like we fighted over who washes the dishes. Forgiving him for – oh, I really don´t want to talk about it. Least of all with you." Magnus voice sounded completely exhausted, like he had been subconciously carrying a burden all this time, which weight he wasn´t able to bear anymore. Simon wondered if immortality made you like this gradually. Having lived through so many losses that you couldn´t take one more.

„However," Simon continued, in an attempt to distract himself from his sinister thoughts. „If I have learned anything in these past few months, it´s that you shouldn´t waste an opportunity to live your life like you want it to. And with whom. Especially at times like this, it could be... over... any moment." He paused, waited for his voice to be steady again, before he spoke. „Don´t waste your time fretting about how Alec and you don´t work together, because this is just utter nonsense. And simply talking to him can´t make things worse, can it?"

Magnus stared at him in complete disbelief. Simon couldn´t tell if he was impressed or annoyed.  
>„Says someone who can´t tell the shadowhunter girl he likes, that he wants to be her boyfriend." he snorted.<p>

_You got me_, Simon thought.

„Whatever! Since I already made clear that there is no reason to not forgiving him, I´m going to tell you the top ten reasons why you should get back together with Alec." He pulled a crinkled piece of paper out of his pants pocket and unfolded it in front of Magnus´ eyes.  
>„Starting with number one: <em>You are so much kinder with Alec as your boyfriend<em>."

Magnus was seemingly at the end of his patience. He stood up too, and as he was a bit taller than Simon, he hulked up in front of him like the very powerful, very furious warlock he was despite his heartbroken state.  
>Simon gulped. He should have brought cupcakes after all, he thought.<p>

„Or maybe," he said cautiously. „I´ll hand the list over to you, so that you can reread it as you please." He put the paper onto the coffee table, flattening it out before he looked back at Magnus who was still staring at him. „Obviously you have a bad day, so I´ll just go."

And he did. Neither of them said a word of good-bye, but that was okay. Simon wasn´t sure if he had been of any help for Magnus and Alec´s relationship today, but at least he had tried. Considering he hadn´t known what to say to Magnus from the first place, this hadn´t gone all too bad, he thought.

* * *

><p>Magnus sighed. It´s been five hours since Simon had visited him, and two hours since his last and only client of the day had disappeared. He had been quarrelsome the whole time causing the young lady who wanted to regain her memories after a hangover to storm out of his apartment without any done work. In a distant corner of his mind a voice (that sounded alarmingly like Ragnor Fell) told him he shouldn´t treat his clients so rudely. It wasn´t good for business.<p>

However, he couldn´t bring himself to care right now. It took a great deal of him to stop himself from calling Alec or answering his texts. Whenever he listened to one of Alec´s messages on his voicemail, the longing for the blue-eyed shadowhunter became stronger, almost unbearable, and he always had to chide himself for being so weak.  
><em>You´re his ex-boyfriend now, don´t forget that!<em> he told himself.

The appearance of Alec´s friends made everything even harder. It surprised him how much they cared. How right they were.

Magnus glanced at the small piece of paper on the coffee table. He had tried very hard to ignore Simon´s list, had thrown it into the bin only to fetch it back out again and stare at it for minutes.

He sighed again. His curiosity won over his reason and he picked up the paper with a defeated growl and read what was written on it.

He didn´t know if he should laugh or cry.

* * *

><p><strong>Simon´s top-ten list of reasons why Magnus Bane should get back together with Alec Lightwood:<strong>

**1. Magnus is so much kinder with Alec as his boyfriend! _(especially to Simon)_**

**2. Magnus and Alec complete each other with their opposing personalities **

**3. Alec is so much kinder with Magnus as his boyfriend! _(he even accepts Simon as Izzy´s love interest?)_**

**4. Magnus improves Alec´s fashion sense to the extent that he might actually _get_ a fashion sense. _(this one´s from Izzy)_**

**5. Magnus and Alec are the first (known) gay Shadowhunter/Downworlder couple in every existing universe and they are obliged to be a role model for all the other coming gay Shadowhunter /Downworlder couples.**

**6. Their couple-name **_**Malec**_** is just awesome perfection!_ (and hilarious, too)_**

**7. Alec Lightwood has black hair and blue eyes and that is Magnus´ favourite combination _(or so I´ve been told)_**

**8. If Magnus isn´t Alec´s boyfriend I´m afraid Alec will fall for Simon´s charm – and no one would want that, right? _(I´m sorry about that, I got bored and ran out of arguments...)_**

**9. Alec is the Jack Dawson to Magnus´ Rose Dewitt whatever – yes, you are the girl in this :P**

**10. Alec is really sorry for what he did and Magnus should realize that Alec is just a human being who makes mistakes.**

**After seventeen years of jewish upbringing I can tell you that forgiveness is a very important step to come to terms with oneself – Just saying**

**Simon Lewis :)**


	4. Ragnor s Intrusion

**A/N: Hello again :)  
>I know I intended this story to have only three chapters but I had a vague idea how to continue and then <em>awesomecool30biancawriter<em> encouraged me to write it. So here it is. Initially I wanted to follow the plot line and I know Ragnor is dead but I love that guy and in my little fanfic world he is still very much alive. Sue me.  
><em>(I hope I wasn´t too dramatic in the last paragraph)<em>  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Magnus didn´t hear nor see anything when the intruder stepped in to his apartment. He wouldn´t have noticed it if it wasn´t for the sudden drop of magical power in the surrounding area of his household, like an outage of magic. It was a vague sensation, comparable to the feeling in the pit of your stomach when the elevator landed on the main floor. It warned Magnus that the wards he had set up around his apartment were pulled down.<p>

Magnus was more annoyed than concerned. He didn´t think that whoever broke into his apartment would be a danger to his life, unless it was Isabelle of course, threatening to kill him again for breaking up with her brother.  
>He didn´t think it was her though. She had seemed slightly more reasonable last time she visited. But honestly, he didn´t want to see her right now, or anyone of those teenagers. He just wanted to stay in his PJs all day, watch a bad sitcom and order in fast food.<br>He grumbled something under his breath as he made his way to the hallway to find his front door wide open. He sighed inwardly.

„Whoever invaded my apartment should be aware of the fact that this apartment belongs to the High Warlock of Brooklyn." he announced in his High-Warlock-voice. „You might be clever enough to trespass my wards, but you did not consider-"

„Please, your wards were easier to trespass than the vow of chestity of that young maid back in the 60s."

Magnus recognized the voice before he actually saw the speaker. Perched on the black leather sofa was a man as green as the grass in Hyde Park at a beautiful summer morning. He built a stark contrast to the currently rather acromatic living room.

„Ragnor Fell." he said, feeling both happy and annoyed to see him. „To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Ragnor shrugged. „I haven´t seen you for a long time. No letters, no calls, no fire messages at all. I wanted to make sure you weren´t dead."  
>Magnus flung himself on the couch next to his friend with his legs on the coffee table. „You´re making me feel very loved talking like that." he said dryly. „Then again, the last time you had a social life was in the sixties, so you must be a little rusty."<br>Ragnor scowled at him. „My social life is more functional than yours, by the look of things – I never forget the birthdays of my friends."  
>„That was only one time." Magnus said in defence. „You just have to keep bringing that up, don´t you?"<br>„You could have at least sent a card."  
>Magnus rolled his eyes. „I´m sorry, okay?"<br>Ragnor waved his hand dismissively. „As nice as it is to finally hear an apology from you," he said. „I think there´s something else you forgot to tell me." He folded his hands in front of his chest and looked at Magnus, his black eyes piercing.

Magnus narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He should have known that this was not going to be a nice tea party where they would reminisce about the good old times. Of course it wasn´t. But a man could hope.  
>„Who told you?"<p>

Ragnor´s expression remained bland. „Raphael."

„Obviously."

„– And Catarina. Seriously, Magnus, it was bound to happen. I would say I told you so, but I guess you don´t want to hear that."  
>Magnus nodded expressively. He snapped his fingers and made an apple appear out of thin air and took a bite to distract himself from the bitter feelings rising up in his stomach. And what said better <em>Who cares<em> than absentmindedly eating an apple while checking the finger nails of his left hand?

To be honest, he hadn´t believed himself that what he had with Alec would last. He had told himself a thousand times that it was wrong being with the shadowhunter. He was everything that Magnus wasn´t: quiet, respectful, conscientious. A protector who put other people´s lives above his own. And he didn´t care about fashion. Magnus had to stop himself from smiling as he remembered an incident when Alec had asked him who the hell _Marc Jacobs_ was and Isabelle had sighed, wondering out loud if he was really related to her after all.

But he shouldn´t think about it, not now that they were over. He often tried to think of Alec with pure anger - because it was reasonable for him to feel this way about him after what he had done - but everytime he thought of the boy he remembered his blue eyes shining with curiosity and genuine affection and he just couldn´t bring himself to be angry. That was one of the reasons he didn´t want to see Alec. If the sole memory of the shadowhunter could already cause such a pull, what would he do if he directly faced him? He probably wouldn´t be strong enough to resist and walk away a second time without kissing him. But he had to be strong. He could do without Alec, as well as Alec could do without him.

„Magnus?" Ragnor´s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. „I need you to tell me now exactly what happened. Which one of you broke up and how long did it last?"

Magnus stared.

„I asked you how -"

„I´ve heard you perfectly well the first time, thank you very much. Why by the seventeen names of Lilith do you ask me all this?" Magnus asked impatiently.  
>Ragnor shrugged again. „Raphael and I might have made a bet about how your relationship with that Lightwood would end. He claims he won the bet, but I have my doubts. So, I want to know if it´s true. Did you dump him or was it the other way around?"<br>Magnus shook his head. „I can´t believe you made a bet on my love life." he said.  
>Ragnor waved his hand impatiently. „Magnus, concentrate. There´s my dignity and ten dollars at stake."<br>Magnus glared at him. „You´re making a fuss about ten dollars?" he asked incredulously.

Ragnor blinked. „And my dignity. It would be embarassing to lose a bet against a vampire."

Magnus tried to be patient. He really did. He took a deep breath, quietly counted to ten and exhaled. When he felt better, he opened his eyes and faced the green man again.  
>„You know, as my friend you´re supposed to – I don´t know – support me? Tell me how great I am, that he doesn´t deserve me anyway, that I am better off without him. Things like that."<br>Ragnor raised his brows. „Well, I don´t know whether he deserves you or not, and you´re not that great, so I´m not gonna say that. But you are definitely better off without him. I don´t know that guy, but he´s a nephilim, so he must be impossibly ignorant, egoistic and overbearing."

„Alec is none of those things." said Magnus, without wanting to. It was like a subliminal impulse to defend him, but really, it was rather like stating the truth.

Ragnor, however, didn´t look convinced.  
>„Sure he is. He´s a shadowhunter. They´re all the same. They think they own the world, that everyone beside them is worth a shit. Look at where that got us. A war is coming, a war of nephilim against nephilim. And we´re in between."<p>

„It´s not their fault." said Magnus, not really sure why he defended them. „Not all of them, anyway. There are people amongst the nephilim who don´t deserve any of this as well."

„Oh really? Name one. And if you say _Alexander_, I´ll need to use your bathroom and lean over the toilet for an unpleasantly long time."

Magnus wanted to scowl at him, but he didn´t have the energy. And he didn´t want Ragnor to see how bad he really felt. He would probably laugh if he knew it. Or scold him for being so foolish, which admittedly he was.  
>Who had he become, the great Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, that he was now sitting here, in dark shabby pajamas he had worn all day, pining over a shadowhunter. He looked at the ground and sighed.<p>

„There´s Clary. She´s-"

„She wasn´t raised as a shadowhunter. Besides, she´s the one whose brother is the source of all the evil going on lately. That doesn´t exactly convince me."  
>Ragnor´s so utterly sober view of the world was often a stark contrast to Magnus´s.<br>It was nice to have him here, a friend to talk to, and yet, when he said things like that, he wanted him to leave.  
>Or punch him.<p>

He felt a responsibility towards Clary and wanted to defend her.  
>No, it was more than that. She had become a real friend to him. She was the only one of the three teenagers that had come to his loft after the break-up who came not just because of Alec, but because she wanted to see how <em>he<em> was feeling. It meant more to him than he would admit. _They_ meant more to him than he would admit.

„You know that´s not her fault." he said at last, trying to concentrate on the conversation instead of his gloomy thoughts.

„Perhaps." said Ragnor. „But I also know that you´ve always had a rather complicated relationship with the nephilim. And it always ended badly. I´m sorry to say this, but you should have anticipated what happened."

„I didn´t want... I..." Magnus exhaled deeply. "I thought this time it´s different. That he´s different. Because he _is_. But apparently it´s not enough."  
>Ragnor sat up and turned to look Magnus in the eyes. Which was difficult since Magnus was still staring at the floor.<br>„Not enough what?" Ragnor asked. He sounded very interested now and Magnus didn´t like it at all. „I don´t know. Maybe it just wasn´t meant to be."

Even though he wasn´t looking at him, Magnus knew Ragnor was raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

„...Okay? Don´t get me wrong, I agree with you, but I hadn´t expected you to realize so much yourself. Since when are you so resigned to your fate? Usually you are more stubborn. If someone tells you you can´t, you try nevertheless just to prove them wrong."

"That was me a hundred years ago." Magnus clarified. "I matured a whole lot during the twentieth century."  
>Ragnor didn´t say anything. Instead he looked at Magnus as if all he said was bullshit.<p>

Magnus sat up. „I´m not resigned. It just wasn´t working. It´s not as if this is my first break-up, I´ll manage." He raised his head and finally looked his friend in the eyes, presenting the best High-Warlock face he could manage to convince him he wasn´t as lovesick as he felt.

„Are you sure?" Ragnor asked carefully. „Because you look like a sixteen year old lovesick girl. No offense."  
>Magnus groaned. „You´re of no help."<br>„If you want someone to comfort you, you should ask Catarina." Ragnor said dryly.  
>„I would." Magnus said in a low voice. „But she has a very busy schedule."<p>

Ragnor was seemingly losing his patience. He noticed that from the way he was crunching with his teeth.

„Alright, alright. I´m sorry. But as you said, Magnus, this isn´t your first heartbreak. I´ve seen you moping after a break-up, drinking and crying, sometimes even laughing. I´m not saying that you always choose the wrong people to fall in love with, but you kind of do. And yet, I´ve never seen you like this. You´re – I don´t even know how to describe it – miserable? And grouchy and _glitter-free_ and, no offense, but you reek a bit."

„None taken." Magnus said. "Or no, I´ve changed my mind. I do take offense in that."

„What´s so wrong with taking a shower?"

„Is that an offer?" Magnus winked. Ragnor laughed. „There you are again, you almost got me worrying." he thought for a moment. „You know, I probably should go see this Alec guy sometime. If he manages to bring you in this state he must be special indeed."  
>Magnus snorted. „Now that it´s over you´re starting to care for my relationship with Alexander?"<p>

Ragnor grinned. „Alexander." he said. „You realize the way you just said his name?"  
>Magnus glared at him but he just chuckled.<br>„Your accent comes out more distinctly when you speak of him. We both know what that means. Boy, you are smitten."

Magnus sighed again. It seemed like he was doing that a lot lately. It wasn´t easy being separated from Alec and it was even worse to admit it.

„It´s just so hard letting him go." His voice was no more than a whisper, but Ragnor had heard him. Yes, it was hard to admit it, and yet it was a relieve to finally tell someone how he really felt. One sentence, more wasn´t necessary to let Ragnor know how serious he was. After all, they knew each other for centuries.  
>„Why do you do it then?" asked Ragnor.<br>Magnus fought the urge to sigh again. He hated being so miserable and he hated that it was partly his own fault. He hated a lot of things lately. „Because it´s the only right thing to do."

Ragnor snorted. „Since when do you care about doing the right thing? I remember you being banned from Peru for quite the opposite."  
>Banned from Peru. Another thing to hate. <em>Life really sucks sometimes<em>, he thought.

„Okay, Magnus." Ragnor said, and he didn´t sound mocking or scolding anymore. His voice became softer ever so slightly, which only happened at rare moments, when one of them was vulnerable. „You´re going to tell me now what happened."  
>And – with a sigh – Magnus did. He told Ragnor about the good times. Alec taming the werewolve girl without harming her, soothing her afterwards. Alec laughing at his jokes. Alec touching him as if he was the most precious thing in the world. The time with Alec in Paris, Egypt, Venice,... All those happy moments that caused Magnus´ heart to ache - and Ragnor to roll his eyes.<br>Then he told him about Camille´s sudden appearance and how all fell down. Alec meeting her behind his back, the lies, the wide gap that became more and more visible. The gap between Alec and him that somehow had always been there.  
>When he was finished, Magnus slumped down and rubbed his eyes with exhaustion. „It´s hopeless." he said. And Ragnor had nothing to say to that. Silence followed. A silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Just silence.<p>

Then Ragnor cleared his throat.  
>„According to my experience with love," Ragnor ignored the mocking scoff from Magnus. „You have two choices now: Either talk to him and give him a chance – which is not the option I recommend you to take considering this is about a nephilim – or forget about him and move on for all I care."<p>

Magnus was speechless. Ragnor as good as never talked to him like that. It reminded him that Catarina may be the most sympathetic person of their trio, but Ragnor could be too, if absolutely necessary – and to a certain degree, at least. Most certainly, he wasn´t very good at relationship advice, so this was a milestone for Ragnor.

„I should probably talk to him." Magnus said after a while. „But I can´t see him. I just can´t."  
>„And why is that?" he heard the other warlock ask from beside him. Magnus took a deep breath, held it, and breathed out. „Because if I see him, I don´t know what I´ll do."<br>He opened his eyes again and saw Ragnor making a face. „And I don´t _want_ to know." he said and stood up. „Alright, that was enough of heart-break and Magnus-escapades for another century. Thanks Magnus. This meeting was very insightful."

Magnus frowned, confused. „What do you mean?"

„I have to talk to Raphael. It seems as if no one of us won the bet. Apparently it´s not over yet."

Magnus smiled half-heartedly at that and watched his greenish friend walk towards the entryway of his apartment. Before he reached the door, Ragnor turned around again, as if he had forgotten something. „Oh, and if you need a friendly ear" he said "just call Catarina." he winked at him and, finally, left.

Typical, Magnus thought.

He closed his eyes again.  
>Eyes are, as the word is, the window to the soul. But Magnus had never been the person to show his soul to the world. It was too painful. In his soul rested things, heavy memories that he did not want to share. He could not. He simply could not unveil these things for Alec. He wouldn´t understand.<br>Maybe Alec _believed_ he wanted to know everything. But the things you want aren´t necessarily the things that are good for you. And in this case it would be too much. Too much for sweet young Alec to process without changing his opinion on Magnus. No one had ever wanted to know that much about him. Magnus wasn´t willing to unlock the massive iron gate that kept his past hidden. And Alec wasn´t willing to accept that as he couldn´t accept his immortality.  
>They wanted different things, had incompatible expectations on their relationship. It wouldn´t have worked. The longer he thought about it the more ridiculous it sounded: A warlock falling in love with a nephilim. The mortal and the immortal. Both coming from different societies that loathed each other. It hadn´t ended happily for Romeo and Juliet and it hadn´t for Magnus and Alec. It was a tragic circle of doomed love. Some people just weren´t destined to live a <em>happily-ever-after<em>.  
>Magnus had long ago come to the conclusion that he belonged to this group of people. He didn´t want to drag Alec into this too.<br>_  
>Forget about him, <em>Ragnor had said. But how could he? Under no circumstances could he forget the beautiful blue-eyed boy that owned his heart.  
>So what should he do?<p> 


End file.
